


The People We Were (Part 1)

by FlexiRuler



Series: The People We Were [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: F/M, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-16
Updated: 2015-10-16
Packaged: 2018-04-26 15:53:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5010718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlexiRuler/pseuds/FlexiRuler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Evangeline Moriarty is the wife of the infamous criminal. From the outside, their relationship is seemingly perfect, but throw in a few suicide attempts, possible mental illness and domestic abuse, and things begin to go down hill rather quickly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Careful

Chapter 1  
August

James looks to his wife, his lover, his saviour. He wishes she was stronger, like him. This isn't the first time he's seen her on a hospital bed, with thick white bandages around her wrists, and, sadly, it probably won't be the last. She looks so peaceful when she sleeps. Looks can be deceiving.  
How could she do this to herself? I still doesn't understand. I love her so much. It isn't fair. In a way, this is my fault. If I didn't know her, she wouldn't have done this. He thinks to himself darkly.  
She murmurs lightly. James squeezes her soft hand.  
“Sweetie?” He whispers. Her eyes open. She gazes at him. His upset is clear to see. She hates seeing him like this. She wishes he didn't have to see her like this. She wishes she could just be normal.  
“Hi.” she replies quietly and places her hand on his. His eyes are full of tears. She finds herself also on the brink of crying.  
“Oh, baby,” his voice breaks off and he looks to the floor, trying to collect himself. She feels so guilty for putting him through this.  
“I'm sorry.” she says. He looks back up at her, alarmed.  
“What? No, baby, this isn't your fault. No way. Its mine.” He says sternly.  
“Its not, James. I'm terrible for putting you through this.” she breathes and studies his reaction. He's horrified.  
“Oh, sweetie.” A tear slides down his cheek. This is only the second time she's seen him cry in all the time she's known him. She reaches up and wipes the tear away with the back of her hand.  
“Don't cry,” she whispers. He takes her hand, brings it around to his lips and kisses it softly. “I don't like it when you cry.”  
“I can't help it. This is all my fault.” his voice is deep with emotion. This is highly unusual for him. “I love you.”  
“I love you.” she replies, closing her eyes and letting the tears flow. He squeezes her hand again, kissing the other one. They stay like this for sometime. Its peaceful. Its bliss.  
“James?” A voice comes from the doorway. They break their bond and open they're eyes. Its Chris, the doctor that has always looked after them, for years. “Can I speak to you?” he glances at Evangeline . “Outside?” He adds. She closes her eyes. James kisses her hand once more, then lets go and walks over to the doctor. They go down the corridor, out of Evangeline's earshot.  
“Will she okay?” James asks, leaning up against the wall, preparing himself for bad news.  
“Physically, yes. Mentally, on the other hand, I can't promise anything. She's not well.” Chris explains. James closes his eyes.  
This is my fault.  
“I get the impression that she feels guilty. Really guilty. For abandoning her family.” Chris says with a hint of regret in his tone. “I know that given your, um, profession, it may be difficult, but I would recommend that you take some time off, if its possible, simply to take care of her. She needs someone to help her tackle her demons.” Chris advises. James knows that taking time off would be hard, but not impossible. He would end the business for her if he needed to, he would do anything for her.  
“Okay. I'll take some time off. A few months, maybe.” he shrugs. “What ever it takes to make her well again.”  
“She's lucky to have someone like you. A lot of the people I see, they have no one. She's very fortunate to have support.”  
Evangeline creeps over to the door and watches them, concealed. Its not that she doesn't trust James to tell her what he said, its just that she would like to hear it first hand.  
“I just want her to be like what she was before... before all of this started up.” James sighs, running his hands through his hair. Evangeline freezes. “I miss her. She was always so happy.”  
Why is he saying this? Does he still love me? She worries.  
“You'd better get back to her. I was just letting you know what I recommend. We'll keep her in for a few more days to see how she's going.” Chris says. Evangeline quickly hops back onto her bed and pretends to be sleeping.

“Hey, sweetheart.” James enters the room slowly. He sits in the chair next to her bed.  
“Hi,” Evangeline can't look him in the eye. James can sense that something is wrong. He grasps her hand and kisses it.  
“Are you okay, baby?” he asks quietly. She nods uncertainly.  
“Yeah, well, you know, as good as I can be given the situation.” She finally brings herself to look at him. “I'm glad you're here.” She adds quietly. He looks to the floor. He always feels bad when he's not there with her, particularly when something like this happens.  
“Chris said I should take some time off to be with you.” he pauses. Evangeline smiles for the first time in long time. Longer than she would like to think about. “I agree.”  
“Good. That's good.” Her spirit lifts. She doesn't like being without James. She loves him. She depends on him.  
“I'll take a few months.” He strokes the side of her face. She leans into him. “I want you to be better, baby.”  
“So do I.” she whispers quietly and gazes at him.  
“ Do you want to talk?” He cocks his head.  
“Not now,” she bites her lip nervously. “When they let me leave. I don't want to talk here.”  
“Okay, sweetie. I get it.” He leans up and kisses her on the lips softly but there's something wrong about it.  
He never used to kiss like that. The passion is gone, Evangeline notes with a deep sadness. He must be trying to be careful.  
“Oh, baby, I love you.” He whispers. “So much,” he looks to the floor once again. “ I wish you wouldn't do this to yourself. It's killing me to see you so upset, so damaged. I only want you to be happy.” Evangeline notices that tears are dropping from his eyes and onto the laminate floor. She squeezes his hand.  
“You make me happy,” she replies gently. He looks up at her.  
“But its not enough, is it? I need to try harder. I'm not doing enough.” He shakes his head violently. He blames himself for her problems. Evangeline gasps, shocked.  
“James, you couldn't do any more for me if you tried. This isn't your fault. Its mine. I shouldn't be so... so weak.” she spits, mentally hitting herself. “Please, please don't blame yourself.”  
“I can't help it. I just want to make it better for you. I only want you to be happy.” James can feel the tears falling down his cheeks.  
“I am always happy when you're around.” She says honestly. “I would be much worse if I didn't have you. I'd probably be dead.” She admits.  
“I – I don't want to think about that.” He sighs sadly.  
“James,” she pauses, her longing for him increasing by the second. “Kiss me properly.” she demands lightly. He's momentarily torn, he doesn't want to rush her into anything when she's so fragile, but decides to do as she asks, leans up and kisses her passionately. He holds the back of her head gently but his lips don't hold back. Evangeline has missed this. His touch, his passion, his love. In fact, he's missed it too. He loves her so much, but realises that he can be a bit full-on sometimes.  
“Oh, I love you.” he says between kisses. “I love you more than everything.”  
“I love you too.” She whispers and starts tearing up. She has been deprived of his love for months and months. “I've missed this. I've missed you.”  
“Oh, so have I, sweetie.” Its been hard on him too. Very hard. He's had to fake a relationship with an extremely annoying journalist. He's had to be away from his wife for three months, only meeting up every few weeks for about half an hour each time. He only just found out about her incident this morning and had to pretend it was a work emergency for his fake-girlfriend.  
“I love you. I love you so much.” She says over and over again until they pull away for air. “When did they say I can leave?”  
“A few days, baby. They need to be sure you won't do anything else.” He pulls a face. “I'm going to put a stop all this work nonsense. Today, I'm gonna go through with the plan and we're leaving the country for a few months, okay?” He tilts his head. “We'll lay low, help you recover. I want you better.” He says.  
“Really? We'll be together again?” She smiles widely and almost feels like laughing.  
“Yes, baby.” he grins at her. This is the best news she's received in months.  
“Finally. I have hated it so much without you. It's been hell.” She admits. He kisses her forehead.  
“Same here. Look, baby, I’ve got to go. I'll be here tomorrow, late afternoon. I love you.” He embraces her and stands up.  
“I love you, too. Be careful, James, I don't want you getting hurt.” She warns him. He nods and smiles.  
“I always am, baby.” He winks and leaves. Evangeline lies back on the pillow and sighs. She brings her wrists up and stares at her bandages. Absent-mindedly, she picks at it and peels one of them off.  
“Oh, fuck.” she sighs as the pain rushes through her and she presses the bandage back on. Blood slowly seeps out of the top and she starts to panic. “Ah, ow ow ow.” She exclaims. The wounds clearly haven't healed, even after three days. “Ow!” She yells and puts pressure on it, in an attempt to stop the bleeding. It doesn't take long for it to start dripping down her other hand.  
“Excuse me! Someone! Help, please!” She shouts loudly. Footsteps approach the room. A familiar nurse, Wendy.  
“What have you done?” She asks quickly and grabs a first aid box from the wall. The sits on the bed. “Hand up.” she commands and Evangeline does as she's told. Wendy hurriedly removes the old, blood-covered bandage and wraps it in a small plastic bag. Evangeline can finally see the full extent of the damage that she's done to herself. Three, deep, bleeding scars run vertically down her wrist. She winces at the sight and is thankful when Wendy applies a new bandage to conceal them.  
“I didn’t mean to pick them.” Evangeline says in a small voice. Wendy looks at her over her glasses in a condescending manner.  
“You must be more careful, Mrs. Moriarty. You could end up bleeding to death. Don't touch them.” She snaps. Evangeline looks away when she's finished, ashamed.  
“I'm going to sleep.” She says in a sulky tone and switches her lamp off. Wendy sighs, cleans up her tools and leaves the room, pulling the blinds as she does. Evangeline Moriarty closes her eyes and silently falls asleep, wishing everything away.

James sits by the bed, watching Evangeline sleep. She looks so beautiful. When she's unconscious, she looks so peaceful, problem free. How he wishes that was the truth. He gently strokes her face. She stirs.  
“Hey, baby.” He whispers. She looks at him and her eyes light up.  
“What's the time?” She asks.  
How long have I been asleep for?  
“Five pm.” He answers, kissing her on the tip of her nose.  
“Fuck. I've been asleep for ages.” She props herself up on her arms, and then winces with the pain of her deep wounds. James rushes to support her weight. He holds her and leans her against, the back of the hospital bed.  
“Alright?” He checks, his arm still around her shoulders. She nods feebly, unable to speak, trying to control the pain that’s gushing through her. “Oh, sweetheart.” He sighs, almost like he can feel her physical pain, but his is only mental. “I'll make it better.” he gently takes her hands and kisses over her bandages.  
“I fell asleep, like, yesterday.” Evangeline finally brings herself to speak. “My God, I must have been tired.” She sighs and looks at him. “Did the plan work?”  
“It's in progress. Everything should be finished by tomorrow night, maybe the day after.” He shrugs and smiles. “Then we'll be off.”  
“I can't wait. Oh, I really want to get you alone.” She looks at him, grinning.  
“Oh, that feeling is mutual, baby, believe me.” He narrows his eyes. “Two days,” he whispers, wrapping another arm around her front and kissing from her ear down to her throat. “Just two days.” he says quietly, directly into her ear.  
“I love you.”  
“I love you.” he retorts  
“I can't wait until we leave.” She says quietly. He kisses the tip of her ear.  
“I've got to go. I really can't stay long. I'll come back tomorrow, baby. Same time.” He kisses her forehead, her nose and then her lips. “I love you. Stay strong.” He says and leaves.  
“I'll try.” She whispers after he's left. She feels alone. She hugs her legs like a child and soon finds herself crying loudly. She sobs into the blanket until there aren't any tears left to get rid of.  
“Evangeline? Are you okay?” Chris enters the room upon hearing her crying. “Hey, what's wrong?” he asks, sitting on the chair beside her.  
“I don't know.” She sobs. “Can I see the counsellor?” she asks. Chris nods.  
“Sure, of course you can.” Chris smiles. “I'll go and get him.”

A few minutes later, the counsellor, Charlie, walks in and sits down. Evangeline has already seen him twice since she's been admitted this time.  
“What’s up, Eva?” he asks, taking a seat. She looks to him through her tears.  
“I feel terrible.” She admits.  
“Why?”  
“My husband blames himself for me doing this.” she gestures to her wrists.  
“Why?” he asks again.  
“I don't really know, but I guess its because he feels that if I never met him, I wouldn't have abandoned my family so I wouldn't have done this.” She leans back and stares into space. “I'm scared he has feelings for Kitty.” she finally admits to herself and to him. “He wouldn't kiss me properly until I asked him.”  
“I think he's trying his hardest not to put you under any pressure.” Charlie sighs. “Every time you've been in here, he's always blamed himself. Every time. He doesn't stop. He really cares about you. Its not my place to comment, but I, personally, don't think he would ever love anyone else except you. You're his life.” Charlie smiles at her.  
“You think?” she asks, hope in her eyes.  
“Of course. He loves you to death. Its obvious.” Charlie reassures her. She smiles faintly.  
“Thanks.” She absent-mindedly smooths the blanket out over her stomach.  
“Look, just tell Wendy if you want to speak with me. I've got an appointment now, so I’ve got to go. Take care, Evangeline. It'll be okay.” he reassures her and leaves the room. She sits back and closes her eyes.  
Evangeline begins to think about the horrible months that she was without her husband for.

She had nothing to live for. She stayed in the house all day, crying in bed. She ate very little, only went out to meet James once every few weeks, and isolated herself. She completely depends on James for everything. Without him, her existence is pointless. She cried to him for hours when he first told her of his plan to fake a relationship with a desperate journalist to help bring down his nemesis. She knew than that she wouldn't cope, but in reality, it was worse than she anticipated.  
She went into a deep depression and one day, it all got too much. Her sister had visited and had made her feel terrible about abandoning her family for James. Usually, when this happens, James is there to make her feel better, but he wasn’t and she felt like he was never coming back. So, despite not trying for years, she took a blade to her wrists. She passed out from blood loss, but, luckily, Sebastian Moran, James good friend, popped in to see how she was. He found her on the floor and took her to the private hospital.

Evangeline sighs and finally manages to fall asleep.


	2. Calm

Chapter 2  
“No! No, my Angel!” Evangeline awakes, screaming, from a horrible nightmare. She bolts upright, tears streaming down her face. She tries desperately to shake to memories of the haunting dream that filled her sleep.  
She has always called James 'Her Angel' because he saved her from her demons. In her dream, he was there, beside her in the hospital, he had wings, a halo, and he was glowing. But then the turned evil. He grabbed a knife and sliced Evangeline's wrists open. That was when she woke up.  
“Oh, God.” She clamps her hand around her mouth, panting. Images flash through her head of James' red eyes as he popped her vein open. She begins to sob silently. In the distance, she can hear another patient yelling over and over about 'That cheating bitch!'. James was so evil in her dream. It was terrifying for her. She loves him so much, but she knows that, deep down, he's evil. Even if he's perfect when he's with her. Evangeline closes her eyes and tries to forget, eventually falling in to a foggy slumber.

“It worked, baby,” James smiles at her. “my plan worked.”  
“Wait,” she looks up from her hospital food and stares at him with disbelief. “That means... its today? We're going today?!” she asks, the excitement building inside her. She puts the tray onto the bedside table.  
“Yeah, sweetie.” he beams at her. She squeals with happiness and wraps her arms around him.  
“Oh, finally.” she whispers in his ear. He kisses her cheek clumsily. “When do we leave?” she pulls away to look him on the eye.  
“Whenever you're ready.” he shrugs, his bottom lip sticking out slightly, in the way that she loves.  
“Mm,” she sighs as he leans up and kisses her passionately. He gently holds her against the bed and works magic on her with his tongue. Its been so long. They've both missed this. “Mm,” she moans softly.  
“Wait,” he pulls away and releases her. “Wait until we're alone. Until we're on the plane. I won't have to hold back then. I hate that.” He smiles at her and takes her face in his hands. “God, I love you. You're so fucking beautiful.” He shakes his head like he can't quite believe it. Evangeline looks away, feeling guilty.  
“I had a dream about you last night.” She hesitates over the word 'dream' and he picks up on it. He always does.  
“Dream?” he asks, tilting his head.  
“Nightmare.” She admits, almost ashamed of herself, despite knowing full well that no one can control their subconscious. He rubs her hand, leaning against her chest. “You cut me.” Her voice is barely audible. James closes his eyes, wincing with the thought. He would never hurt her, not in a million years. He would kill himself before letting her be harmed.  
“Oh, sweetie,” he sighs with deep sadness. “Everything will be okay, baby. I'm gonna make it okay.” He repeats the same words he has said so many times to her over the years. She begins to tear up, running her fingers through his hair softly. She prefers his hair when its messy, and she prefers him in casual clothes, not his usual work suits.  
“You always say that.” she whispers, closing her eyes.  
“I – I know. I'm sorry.” His heart lunges. “I'm useless. I'm a terrible husband.” He criticizes himself. “I should never have gone away,” he curses through gritted teeth. “I should've guessed something like this would've happened. Why didn't I just think?!” he yells, his anger flaring. Evangeline jumps with shock.  
“Shush, shush, its not your fault.” She strokes the side of his face, down his cheekbone as he calms to her touch. She always calms him down. She's the only thing that can. He can physically feel his adrenaline slowing and his rage cooling off as she touches him. He leans his head towards her hand. “Hush, baby. Its alright. I love you.” She says and he whimpers softly, on the verge of crying once more. Silently, tears fall from his eyes. Evangeline looks at him and wipes them away with the back of her hand. His eyes lock onto hers and they share a moment. Unspoken words bounce between them. The energy between them is immense. They can almost touch it. James leans up and kisses her once more.  
“I am so sorry.” He whispers. “I never should have left you. And I never will again. I promise, no matter what happens, I will always be there with you. Always.” He says gently in her ear.  
“Thank you, baby.” She whispers in return, sighing softly.  
“I'm so glad it will finally just be us. I've waited for what feel like eternity.” He laughs lightly. “I can't wait.” He sighs against her neck. Then, he starts kissing her earlobe. “Actually, I don't think I can.” he says darkly and bites gently at the soft part of her ear. She moans lightly.  
“Mm, James,” she sighs, tilting her head back. He brings his legs around so he's sitting on her and begins running his tongue along her cheekbone. “Uh,” she mutters, the pleasure gushing through her veins. Its been so long since she's been touched. She moans, forcing her eyes shut, as he kisses from her eye down to her lips and starts tonguing her. He brings his hands up and rubs them along her breasts.  
“Er, excuse me, Professor and Mrs Moriarty.” A voice calls from the door. They break their connection to look at the person. Its Wendy, the nurse. She looks shocked and angry.  
“What is it?” James snaps through his teeth. Protectively, Evangeline places an arm around him. She can tell he's losing his temper. He begins to calm.  
“Professor Moriarty, I must ask you to get off of your wife. She is in no mental state to engage in any sexual act right now.” She scolds. James begins to shake with anger.  
“Shush, James.” Evangeline whispers to him. “Sure, Wendy.” She sighs and gently pushes her husband off her. He's clearly fuming.  
“You can't tell me what I can and can't do with my wife.” He says angrily to the nurse. “Fuck you!” He shouts. Evangeline gasps and places a hand on his upper arm.  
“Calm, sweetie.” She says to him and then turns to the nurse, who's mouth is now a straight line. “I'm sorry. Look, I'm dismissing myself today.” She tells her. Wendy's mouth turns into a small 'o' and she gasps.  
“No, you are certainly not, Mrs. Moriarty. You are very ill. You are in no state to -” she starts and Evangeline puts a hand up to stop her.  
“I am leaving. Whether you agree or not, I am not staying here.” She says bitterly. Wendy shakes her head but walks on, saying nothing. Evangeline turns to James.  
“Thanks.” She says. He frowns.  
“What for?”  
“For not losing it like, you know, before.” She hesitates. A long time ago, a man began to flirt with her. James saw him and beat him to death in front of Evangeline. She was so shocked that she locked herself in the bathroom for five hours, before finally talking to him about it. He admitted that he loses his temper easily, too easily. Particularly with issues involving her. She eventually forgave him, but that fateful day is forever tattooed on both of their memories.  
“I promised I would try not to.” he sighs and sits down on the bed beside her. “Do you want to leave now? We're in hot water now anyway so it couldn't do too much harm.” he shrugs.  
“Okay, sure.” She smiles weakly. He grins back at her.  
“Do you have any bags or anything?” He asks.  
“No. All my stuff is back at the house. They threw my clothes away... they were, um,” images of her blood-covered clothes replay in her mind, making her wince. “a bit dirty.” He gets the message.  
“Okay, do you want to leave now?” He asks.  
“Sure. Why not? Besides, I don't know how long I can keep my hands off of you for.” She narrows her eyes and his breath catches.  
“Right, lets go.” he says and helps her get up off of the bed. The strain on her wrist causes her to yell out and fall back down. “Baby! I'm sorry!” His eye widen with fear and guilt as he holds her. She puts on a smile, but her eyes tear up with the pain. Its relentless and she calls out once more.  
“Ow!” she begins to cry, her voice faltering. They both glance at her wrists and blood flows out of the bottom of the bandage.  
“Shit!” he curses and shouts for help. A different, male nurse comes in. He tells James to leave the room. Reluctantly, he does so. Its pain-staking knowing the pain that she's in and not being able to do anything. James paces the corridor, feeling guilty.  
This is my fault.

Inside the room, the nurse removes her bandages. The wounds look even worse than before. They must've torn. They're deeper, bloodier. She sobs as he wraps them back up, the pain easing ever-so-slightly.  
“James!” She shouts. She needs him here now. Not anyone else. Almost immediately, James is by her side, crying himself.  
“Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry.” He kisses her other knuckle as the nurse cleans up. James looks away, feeling terrible. “Look, maybe you should stay here for a few more days. If something like that were to happen when we're flying, you might be seriously hurt. I can't have that.” he forces his eyes shut at the thought of letting her be harmed. Evangeline stops herself from protesting. She doesn't want to stay. She hates being in hospital, but she can tell that arguing with him right now would be a bad idea.  
“If you feel that’s best.” She mutters quietly. He looks up at her, his eyes wide.  
“I want you to be better.” He tries to justify himself, but knows that she won't understand. For his sake, Evangeline agrees to stay another few days, if it'll put his mind at rest.

James' phone buzzes in his pocket. Not his expensive phone, his 'failed-actor phone', as he calls it. The one he used in front of Kitty Riley, for appearances' sake. He looks at the text.  
“Who is it?” Evangeline asks, but she already knows. He glances at her, apologetic.  
“Kitty. Asking where I am. It obviously hasn't reached the news yet. Give it a few hours.” He sighs and puts his phone on silent. “I have to get rid of this.” he makes a mental note. The devil is in the detail. He needs this plan to work perfectly. Anything else would put them both in danger.  
“Are you staying?” She cocks her head. He frowns.  
“I can't, babe. I need to sort everything out. Its starting to get complicated.” He sighs again, running his hands through his hair. His eyes are dry now, but he looks so stressed. Evangeline hates seeing him like this. She likes his happy, carefree. He's the polar-opposite today. “I want you to take care of yourself, baby. I want you well.” He taps her nose delicately and gets up. The longing brews silently inside of Evangeline but she lets him leave, with out even saying good bye.

Later on, Evangeline turns on the television. The headline is about James and Sherlock. Every one thinks they're both dead.  
One is, she thinks to herself, smiling, But no one can ever know.

That night, she dreams sweet dreams of her and James on they're plane, flying away from everything. Its bliss.


	3. Flying

Chapter 3  
Evangeline begins to cry from underneath the covers of her bed.  
“I'm so useless,” she whispers to herself. It feels like a giant hole is being ripped through her chest. Her crying intensifies and she pushes her face into the pillow to muffle it. “Why did I leave them?” She sobs, the words blending into one.

She misses her family. She loves them, very much, but not as much as her husband. She was forced to choose. She didn't want to, but her family said that they refused to know her if she stayed with him. She couldn't leave James, so her family broke off all contact.  
Occasionally, her sister, who never really liked her much anyway, will appear at their home and give Evangeline a guilt trip. She can't leave James, and never will, but sometimes she regrets her decision. She misses her parents, but they completely ignore her.  
When she told her mother about her decision, she cried. Her mother sat there and sobbed for hours.  
“How could you do this?” She kept asking her, over and over. But Evangeline had no answers. The bond between her and James is too strong to put into words. She said nothing and left. That was the last time she saw her. It haunts her to this day.

__________  
“Oh, I love you,” James whispers in her ear. He pulls away and looks at her. A single tear falls from her eye. “What’s wrong, baby?” He asks. She looks so beautiful in her long, fishtail white dress. Her new ring twinkles on her finger. Everything is supposed to be perfect, but it isn't.  
“I wish my parents were here.” she replies quietly. The tables are practically empty. Its just them, Sebastian Moran, James' brother: Zac Moriarty, and Ella Holt, Evangeline's best friend.  
“Hey, hey,” he says to her, his hand on her thigh. “Don't think about it, babes.” He sounds friendly, but there is an undertone of seriousness. “Okay?” he asks, massaging her upper leg, knowing full well that it will distract her.  
“Okay.” She closes her eyes. She lets all her worries fade away and focuses only on his touch. “I love you.”  
“I love you, Mrs. Moriarty.”  
__________  
James wakes up, panting. He quickly switches the lamp on. Its 3am. He sighs and lies back down. He runs his hands through his hair.  
He misses the countless nights he has spent in bed with his wife, when he wakes up before her so he can simply watch her sleep. He misses having someone to hold, someone to care for.  
He gets up and splashes his face with water. He stares at himself in the mirror. He looks ill, stressed. This is what happens when Evangeline isn't around. She completes him, makes him whole.  
He leans against the sink, still gazing at his reflection. Suddenly, he hears a noise, a slamming noise. A door.  
He rushes into the bedroom and grabs his gun. Silently, he makes his way to the landing. He pauses, looking, listening. His nerves are on edge, which gives him an advantage if he were attacked. His senses are sharper, hes stronger, when hes nervous or angry.  
He hears some shuffling coming from one of the guest rooms. He stalks over to it. The door is closed. Carefully, without a sound, he pushes the door open.  
Inside, there's no sign of anyone, except that the curtains leading to the balcony are billowing. He quickly checks behind the door.  
“Show yourself.” He demands angrily. “Come on! What are you waiting for?!” He yells. He waits by the now-closed door, listening out for anything. He hears nothing. James makes his way over to the balcony door. Its wide open. They've gone.  
“Fuck!” He yells, throwing a punch at the wall. He looks outside, but no one is there. “Fucking hell!”  
Some one is after him.

“What's happened? Seb told me someone broke in? Are you alright?” Evangeline speaks over the phone apprehensively.  
“Yeah, I'm fine. I've got my best men tracking them down. They were very careless. Easy to trace.” He explains. “Just stay there, okay? I need to clear all this up before we leave.”  
“Sure.” Evangeline sighs. “I'm just glad you're okay. I was so worried.”  
“I'll pop up soon, a few hours maybe.” he coughs lightly. Evangeline smiles to herself.  
“Be careful, baby. I love you.”  
“I love you, too.” He replies and hangs up. Evangeline tucks in to her food, which, because its a private hospital, is actually quite nice. She finishes her meal and tries to go to sleep.

She tries for sometime, before giving up and turning the TV on again.  
“Thank you, Robert. Here, I have Kitty Riley, James Moriarty's girlfriend and journalist for The Times. Kitty, how do you feel about yesterdays events?” A bouncy blonde reporter asks. The camera turns to Kitty, who is crying silently.  
The fucking bitch. She doesn't love him. Evangeline thinks bitterly.  
“I – I can't believe it. Sherlock used him, completely. He got paid to take his own life in the end. It was wrong. He was an amazing man.” She cries.  
“You bitch!” Evangeline yells at the TV and throws a fork at it. Her aim is lousy so she misses by a mile. She throws her head back and sigh as Kitty carries on her attention-seeking, saying about how much they loved each other and how lovely he was. Evangeline turns the TV off and finally falls asleep.

James strokes the side of Evangeline's sleeping face gently. She moans lightly, but remains unconscious. He leans up and kisses her forehead, her nose and then her lips. Then, she wakes up.  
“Hello, baby.” He smiles and she does it back. She brings a hand up and touches his cheek.  
“I'm glad you're safe.” She whispers. Then she frowns. “I saw Kitty on TV. She's annoying. I don't understand how you lived with her for so long.”  
“Neither do I. So many times I wanted to shoot her.” He sighs, laughing. Evangeline laughs too, relieved.  
“I wouldn't have coped.”  
“You didn't.” He adds quietly. “Look, we need to leave today. They found the guys. A bunch of teenagers who thought the house was empty. They're dead now.” he says. “I can't stay here for much longer. Its too risky. We need to go.”  
“Okay. As long as you're sure.” she shrugs, secretly happy.  
“I am.” He says determinedly. “Lets go.” he smiles. Evangeline grins at him and gets up. He links arms with her and they walk out of the room. They make their way to reception.  
“I am dismissing myself.” Evangeline states to the woman behind the desk. “Evangeline Moriarty.”  
“Okay, Mrs. Moriarty.” she asks a few questions and finally lets her go. She and James leave through the main doors and he puts a pair of dark glasses on, in case anyone recognises him.  
Luckily, quite a few people are in on the Reichenbach Fall plan, including the hospital workers, so James doesn't always have to hide.  
They enter their Mercedes, James in the drivers seat and Evangeline in the passengers seat. Finally, they're free. Alone. It feels amazing.  
“I love you.” She whispers, looking him in the eye.  
“And I love you, sweetheart.” He says happily. A call comes over the car speakers. He answers, pressing a button. “Moriarty. Speak.” He commands.  
“Sir, the jet is ready.” Lee says on the other end.  
“Our ETA is about 2pm. I'll ring when we're near.” He informs him and ends the call. He turns to Evangeline. “We're stopping on the way.” His expression is dark. She flushes a deep crimson. He places a hand on her upper thigh and she gasps. “You would not believe how much I have missed you.” He whispers, his hand slowly massaging her. Evangeline closes her eyes. His hand drifts upwards.  
“You really should concentrate on driving.” Evangeline tries to sound serious, but fails as the lust in her voice is way too obvious.  
“I'm a good multi tasker,” his tone is low, dark as he slips his hand under her dress.  
“Yes... you are.” She sighs. “But, really,” She clears her throat. “I don't want another car crash.”  
“Fine.” His voice is clipped and he pulls his hand away. Instantly, she feels alone and wishes that she had let him carry on. “In about half an hour, we're gonna pull over.”  
“What for?” Evangeline asks, opening her eyes. She has several theories and all of them involve them getting naked. She blushes at the thought. James looks at her and smiles wickedly.  
“I'll let your imagination run away with you. Its sexy.” He chuckles. “Besides, it might give me some ideas.” he raises his eyebrows.  
“You don't need ideas.”  
“You're right. I've been planning this for months.” He laughs. Evangeline smiles to herself. She's missed this terribly. He's always been dirty, and she loves it. “It will be in a toilet cubicle in the services, but I’m sure you won't mind.” He glances at her quickly. Her eyes widen.  
“Well, I’m always up for something new, and, besides... its been a while.” She shrugs.  
“But, obviously, we will have hours on the jet together.” He adds. Evangeline looks at him grinning.  
“Oh, I love you.” She whispers and strokes the side of his face.  
“How are you allowed to touch me, but I can't touch you? This isn't fair. I'm just as distracted now as I was with my hand up your dress.” He sighs and Evangeline giggles.  
“You have both hands on the steering wheel. It isn't the same.” Her fingers trace around the sensitive parts on his ear.  
“I will only have one in a minute if you keep teasing me.” He warns, his tone darker. Evangeline leans up, kisses his cheek and then removes her hand.  
“Fine.” She sighs and sinks back into her seat.

“Excuse me!” There's a loud knock on the door. Evangeline and Jim freeze in the toilet cubicle.  
“Yes?” Jim calls back while Evangeline tries to stifle her giggles.  
“You have been in there for ten minutes, and there is a queue. Do you mind coming out, please?” The woman says and Evangeline erupts into laughter at the innuendo that is so perfectly placed given their compromising position. James thrusts into her once more and she silences, throwing her head back in ecstasy as she orgasms and he comes around her. He kisses her roughly.  
“Fuck, I love you.” He whispers and pulls out of her.  
“Are there two of you in there?!” The person on the other side of the door shouts, clearly appalled. Evangeline laughs loudly, pulling her dress down. James puts his trousers back on, his smile wide. Evangeline takes his face in her hands.  
“Oh, you bad boy! In a public toilet!” She pretends to be shocked.  
“Oh, Evangeline, you are just as responsible, if not more so. You teased me.” He slaps her behind quickly, making her gasp. “Bad girl.” He whispers and opens the door before she can collect herself. Flustered, they both fall out of the cubicle into the large crowd of people waiting for the toilet.  
“You should be ashamed of yourselves.” A woman, the one yelling at them earlier, scolds them once more. Arm in arm, they walk straight past her.  
“Oh, shame. I'm well past it.” Jim laughs as they leave through the main door. They tumble into the car, unable to control their laughter.  
“Oh my God, that was hilarious.” Evangeline sighs, her giggles finally contained.  
“And pleasurable, I do hope?” He raises a brow.  
“Oh, baby, it always is with you.” She grins.  
“Just wait until I get you on that plane, sweetie.” he whispers seductively. She blushes once more.  
How does he do this to me? She wonders, biting her lip. He still makes me blush with his dirty comments.

“More wine?” He asks Evangeline, holding up the bottle. She shakes her head.  
“No, thanks.”  
“Food?”  
“I'm only hungry for one thing right now, and its not food.” Evangeline looks him up and down, licking her bottom lip. He stills and places the bottle back in the holder.  
“Don't tease me, Evangeline Moriarty.” He lowers his gaze. “I do the teasing, not you.”  
“Then teach me a lesson.” She whispers. He growls from deep within his throat.  
“Oh, I will, baby, believe me.” He manoeuvres quickly so he's on top of her, and has her pinned back against the seat of the private jet. “But first,” he strokes her lower lip. “I want some answers.” He whispers. Evangeline rolls her eyes.  
“Can it wait?” She asks desperately.  
“No, it can't.” He says into her ear. “Do you promise to answer my questions honestly?”  
“Yes.” She sighs exasperatedly. He gently flicks her arm in the way that he always does. She smiles.  
“Good.” He grins back quickly but then it fades and he's serious. “Is it my fault?”  
“No,” she says quietly. “Never. Its my fault. I should be stronger. Please don't blame yourself. Please.”  
“I can't help it. I should've known you would do this.” He kisses her softly. “Its not like you don't have a history.” He holds her wrists and kisses each one in turn. She closes her eyes.  
“I'm sorry.”  
“What for?” He asks, confused.  
“For putting you through this. You don't deserve it.” A tear falls from her shut eye.  
“Oh, baby.” He sighs and mops away the drop. “I promise I’m gonna be there for you from now on.”  
“Thank you.” She murmurs and kisses him. “I've missed you.”  
“And I you.” He retorts and begins to thrust his tongue into her mouth. She moans quietly as he runs his hands over her breasts. He wraps his hands around her waist and lays her down across three seats of the plane. “Oh, I love you.” He whispers in her ear and works his magic.

“Had enough?” Jim smiles at her. Evangeline is curled up on top of him, her head on his bare chest.  
“Hmm.”  
“Is that a yes?”  
“Hmm.”  
“Is that a no?”  
“Hmm.” Her eyes are firmly closed. He chuckles, the sound resonating through her.  
“Can you speak?” He asks, amused.  
“Hmm.” She murmurs yet again. He flicks her forehead playfully.  
“Silly girl.” He rubs down her spine, tickling her. She wriggles. He carries on, then begins tickling under her armpits. She tries to escape from his grasp but he holds her tighter. “Oh, no, baby. If you want me to stop, you have to beg me.” He teases, his fingers now running over the sensitive parts of her neck. She laughs.  
“Stop, Jim!” She giggles. He doesn't cease and carries on his sweet torture. “Ah, stop!” She laughs as he holds her back to his front and tickles under her arms again and she screams out.  
“I do believe I said you had to beg, Evangeline.” He says darkly.  
“Okay! Please, please, stop, Jim, I'm begging you!” She shouts, no longer silent. He laughs and finally halts.  
“Oh, how I love the sound of you begging.” He teases. She sighs. “I always break your silence, don't I?” He asks. Evangeline grins.  
“Yes, you certainly do.” She says happily. “Oh, I've missed this, I've missed you.”  
“I know, I know. You must be tired, sweetie.” he whispers in her ear. “There's a bedroom in the back, come on.” He says and sits up.  
“Wait, there's a bedroom, but we fucked here?” She gasps as he slips her off of his lap. He pulls his boxers back on quickly.  
“Come,” he offers his hand and she takes it reluctantly. “you need sleep.” He leads her into a large room, through a corridor. The bedroom is decorated beautifully, with a king-sized, dark red bed in the middle of the wall, a few expensive paintings and an en suite. Evangeline flops herself onto the bed and stretches out. He watches her with amusement.  
“The view from here is lovely.” He laughs, looking at her naked body. She opens one eye. She grabs the blanket and throws it over her. “Oh, no, don't spoil it.” He pouts sexily, grabs the sheet and chucks it back off of her.  
“Now I'm cold.” She sighs. She is bare apart from the white bandages around her wrists. He winces at the thought of him being the cause of her scars. He then distracts himself with sex, per usual.  
“I can warm you up, baby.” He crawls on top of her, kissing her dressings as he does. She smiles at him.  
“I love you.” She whispers as he gently tugs at her ear with his teeth. She moans. “Mm, I love you. I love this.”  
“Tell me what you want, baby, and I'll give it to you.” He says, sending tingles down her spine. “Tell me.”  
“I want you.” She murmurs and he laughs.  
“Then me you shall have, Evangeline Moriarty.” He smiles a wolfish grin and kisses her like he's a starving man and she's a banquet. And so Round Three commences.


	4. Snappy

Chapter 4  
August

“You like?” James turns to Evangeline as they stand in the hallway of their new home. She grins at him.  
“I love.” She squeals. He takes her in his arms and kisses her roughly.  
“I want to introduce you to the bedroom. I think we'll be spending a lot of time in there.” He winks at her. He picks her up, holding her over his shoulder and carries her up the stairs.  
“Let me go! Jim!” Evangeline shouts and he hits her behind playfully. “Ah! James Moriarty, let me down right now!” She demands, trying to sound serious.  
“Nope.” He laughs and takes her into the master bedroom.  
“Let me down!” She yells angrily.  
“Fine.” He sighs and throws her down onto he mattress. She screams playfully. “I don't know about you, but... I'm hungry.” He says slowly, holding her ankles down to the bed and running his fingertips north. She groans lightly. “And you look rather edible.” He murmurs.  
“Oh, James Moriarty, you bad, bad man.” She scolds, tapping his nose.  
“Tell me about it, sweetie.” He scoffs. “But kindly remember that you married me.” He narrows his eyes. “And, if I remember correctly, you said that you loved my wickedness.” he hisses through his teeth. Evangeline's breath catches.  
“Indeed I did and indeed I do.” she replies, her voice husky.  
“Are you happy to stay here? Do you like it?” There is a hint of desperation in his question, that Evangeline picks up on.  
“Oh, baby, its perfect. Like you.” She whispers. He shakes his head.  
“I think you're talking to the wrong guy, here. I am not perfect, baby.” Just as she is about to protest, she is silenced by his mouth. He entwines his tongue with hers. “I want every inch of you.” He says when they gather their breath.  
“Then take it.” She challenges him and he rises to it with ease.

Evangeline looks at herself in the mirror. Her eyes rest over her scars. There are so many of them. Her legs, her stomach, her arms. She frowns. Sometimes, she wishes she hadn't done it. It was in her teenage years, and she became badly depressed. At the time, it helped her cope, but now, years on, she longs for a scar free body. But she is fully aware that she will never get her wish. No amount of concealer will ever erase the mental scars that linger with her constantly.  
Her fingers gently soothe over a few dark, deep lines over her stomach. A tear falls from her eye. She tries to count how many imperfections she has physically, but gives up at forty. She leans back against the sink and starts to sob. Her bandages feel heavy on her wrists. She must have been bleeding again.  
“Baby, are you alright?” James knocks on the door and tries to open it, but its locked. Evangeline wipes her eyes.  
“Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.” She lies but already knows that its pointless. He can always tell when she's lying.  
“Eva... don't lie to me.” He warns.  
“Can – Can I just have a bit to myself, please?” She begs. He sighs.  
“Okay, fine. Give me a shout if you need me.” he says and leaves reluctantly. Evangeline releases her breath and looks back to herself.  
“Fuck, I’m so ugly.” She curses herself and punches her stomach in anger. “Why am I so fucking ugly?!” She shouts and hits herself again, hard. “Ah!” She exclaims and looks at the red spot. He forces herself not to hurt herself any further. “Stop... stop.” She whispers and manages to calm down finally. She looks to the floor, her eyes skimming past all of the marks on her legs. There are so many. She sinks down and sits, holding her knees under her chin.  
“Why am I so fucked up?” She asks herself, crying. “Jim doesn't deserve someone as fucked as me.” She sobs.  
“Baby,” James' tone is soft, sympathetic. Evangeline looks to the door. “Baby, let me in.” He says quietly. She stifles a sob, leans up and unlocks the door. He pushes it open gently. He sits down on the floor beside her. “Oh, sweetie.” He whispers in her ear, his arm around her shoulders.  
“I'm sorry!” She cries into him. “I am so sorry. Please forgive me.”  
“Oh, baby. Oh, my sweet, sweet girl.” He says into her hair. She cries and cries until there are no tears left. He whispers over and over again to her about how much he loves how, about how lovely she is and about how beautiful she is.  
“Oh, James, I love you but I don't deserve you.” She says, after her tears have dried up.  
“I don't deserve you, baby. I am such a bad man, and I don't treat you in the way you should do. I am so sorry.” He sighs sadly. “This is all my fault.”  
“No...no.” She whispers and slowly drifts into a slumber.

November

“How're you feeling today?” George West, Evangeline's new shrink, takes out a notepad and smiles brightly at her.  
“Um... okay, I guess.” She hesitates. He frowns.  
“You guess?” He tilts his head at her.  
“Well,” Evangeline sighs. “I feel, ugh, I don't even know. I just feel like shit.”  
“How come?” George asks, quickly glancing at James and then back to her.  
“I...” her face crumples. “I don't know!” She cries. Jim squeezes her hand, reassuring her. She sniffs loudly. “I feel terrible. I hate it.”  
“Why do you feel terrible, Evangeline?” He asks. She looks at James from the corner of her eye and George notices. “Would you like Jim to leave?” He frowns. James stills next to her and her heart beats fast in her ears. He's pissed now. She's annoyed him. She bites her lip nervously.  
“I'll leave.” He sulks, letting go of her hand brutally and walking off. Once he's left the room, Evangeline starts sobbing silently.  
“What has he done?” George asks her, his tone soft. She shakes her head.  
“He's acting different. He's so... so distant.” She cries. “We don't even talk any more. He's constantly working. He's so... he's always so angry.”  
“Why?”  
“I don't know. Its like I’m not even there any more. He was amazing for the first few weeks, but then, he just... changed. He won't even ask me how I’m doing.”  
“How is he in the house with you?” He asks, writing furiously.  
“He doesn't talk to me. When he comes home from work, he fucks me, we eat and then sleep. That's it.” She sobs. “I feel like a stranger.”

August

“Hey, baby,” he wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her close to him. “You look so beautiful.” He compliments her. She's wearing a long sleeved, pearl-coloured dress that hugs tightly to her body. She looks stunning. Her long, light brown hair is wavy, and falls down to her waist. She is wearing a small amount of make-up, just enough to define her eyes.  
“Thank you. Where are we going?” She asks and he kisses her passionately.  
“Ah, all in good time, dear.” He taps her nose. “You'll love it.”  
“Of course I will, as long as you're there.” She smiles and he grabs her hand.  
“Then you're in luck.” He chuckles.

“Oh, my God, James, its lovely.” She whispers when they've sat down in they're private room in an awfully expensive restaurant. “I love it.”  
“Good. Its this or McDonald’s.” He laughs. She beams at him.  
“I'll stick with this, but thanks anyway.” She frowns and inhales sharply.  
“What's wrong, baby?” He holds her arm protectively.  
“Oh, nothing. Just my wrist.” She sighs. “I must have brushed it on something.” She presses her bandage closer to her skin.  
“Don't touch it.” He scolds as a waiter enters the room with two menus. They each take one.  
“The specials today are oysters...” The waiter, young and pretty, goes into a long list of posh foods that Evangeline doesn't listen to. James usually orders for so she never pays attention. She glances at her wrists, feeling sickened. Jim catches on.  
“Um, can we have a moment please?” James smiles curtly at the waiter and he nods and leaves. “Baby, are you alright?” He tilts his head and she looks up at him, saying nothing. He leans down and kisses her slowly.  
“Mm, I am now.” She smiles. He chuckles.  
“Good.” He whispers, stroking her face. “I love you so much, Evangeline.”

November

“Hey,” Evangeline places her hands on his shoulders. He freezes. “What are you doing?” She asks, looking at his laptop. He snaps the lid shut.  
“Work.” His tone is clipped. She frowns from behind him.  
Why is he being like this? She wonders. He's always snappy nowadays.  
“Oh. Cool.” she struggles to make conversation.  
“What do you want, Evangeline?” He snaps. She inhales sharply at his tone.  
“Nothing, I was just -” She starts but is interrupted.  
“Then go away.” He shouts at her. She quickly removes her hands, upset and hurt. “What are you waiting for? I said fuck off!” He yells. Her face crumples and she rushes away, tears falling from her eyes. She slams the door behind her to his office.  
She runs into the main bathroom, locks the door and cries on the floor. She holds herself and cries and cries. She pretends that its him holding her. James, the way he was before. Before all of this. Before he changed. When he used to love her. The thought causes a deep, deep sadness inside her and she sobs harder.  
Where has my loving husband gone? I want him back. I need him back.  
She shakes as she tries to cry quieter. He got angry last time he caught her weeping. He got very angry. She winces at the memory... The memory of his hand slapping her sharply. The pain, the fear.  
After hitting her, he felt terrible and apologised with the deepest of sincerity. He hugged her and kept saying 'sorry' over and over again. She forgave him. Obviously. She always does.  
Sometimes, she regrets the decision of marrying him. Sometimes, she wishes that she'd listened to her mother, and got out before it went nasty, before it all got too deep. But she didn't. She defied her mother and went with the man of her dreams, now the man of her nightmares.  
The problem with falling for someone, for dedicating you life to someone, is what happens when it all goes wrong. You have a few magical, blissful, perfect years, and then everything changes. Its inevitable. It will always happen. And it has here. James has changed, he's not the person he was; the person she fell in love with; the person she married. He is someone else entirely. He has been her life, her everything, and he still is. She wants him back, the man that she loves; the man that she has always loved. But now that he's different, he has become her nightmare, just an echo, a faded memory of everything he used to be, of everything they used to have. Every time she looks at him, she is reminded of all the good times they've had together and of how much she longs for more.

“What the fuck are you doing in there?” James yells from the other side of the door.  
Thank God I locked it, She thinks to herself. I'm not letting him in.  
“Nothing.” She calls back, her voice only faltering slightly. She wipes her tears away quickly.  
“Come out of there, Evangeline.” He growls angrily. She purses her lips.  
“No.” She refuses bravely. She feels safe from behind the door. He can't get to her in here. He can't hurt her.  
“No?” He snaps. “Let. Me. In.” He shouts slowly. She cries some more quietly.  
“I'm staying in here, and the door is staying locked. Just go and get on with your work.” She sobs. He sighs furiously. There is a minute of silence and Evangeline gets worried.  
Where is he?  
Suddenly, there is a click. She glances at the door, terrified. It swings open.  
Fuck, the master-key. She silently mocks herself for being so stupid. I'm never safe in this house.  
James is standing in the doorway, enraged. She freezes. He throws the key onto the floor.  
“Get. Up.” He spits. She complies, too scared to differ. He approaches her slowly. She grabs onto the bath for strength. She can feel her legs giving up beneath her with fear. He looks so angry. He looked like this when he hit her before.  
“I'm sorry.” She whispers fearfully, looking to the floor. Before she has time to think, his hands are around her throat and he has her pinned against the wall. She tries to escape, but he's far stronger than her and she begins to choke. He keeps her there, paralysed with fear and shock.  
“How fucking dare you?!” He yells and she flinches. “You stupid bitch!” He tightens his grip on her and she can feel the pain gushing through her. She can't breathe. He's killing her.  
All of a sudden, he realises that she's dying and lets go. She falls to the floor with a thud. She gasps deeply, her throat burning. He kneels down beside her, still fuming.  
“Aren't you a stupid, stupid bitch?” He spits at her. She sobs once. “Huh? Tell me you're a stupid bitch.” He demands.  
“I'm... a stupid bitch.” She says quietly, her voice hoarse. He grins evilly at her.  
“Good.” He chuckles and grabs her again. He pins her to the floor, growling. He holds her there, both arms above her head with one of his hands, while she cries.  
“Why... why are you doing this?” she asks. “Please...” She begs. “Please stop.” Her tears fall rapidly down her cheeks. He grasps her face hard and kisses her violently. Her lips remain still and it aggravates him immensely.  
“Fine, gonna play like that, huh, bitch?” He scoffs. He moves his hands down her body, to her legs. She suddenly realises his intention.  
“No. No, Jim! Please, no!” She begs as he slips his hand under her skirt and into her panties. “No!” She screams.  
“No one can hear you, bitch.” He laughs menacingly and thrusts two fingers inside her and she cries out with pain, both emotional and physical. “I will do whatever the fuck I want to you,” He whispers in her ear. To Evangeline, it feels like his fingers are tearing apart her insides. “And you will never, ever stop me.”


	5. Goodbye

Chapter 5  
November

“Evangeline? Are you okay?” Her best friend, Ella Holt, asks her with worry in her eyes. She can't read Evangeline's expression, as she has dark glasses on, despite being indoors.  
“Yes, fine.” she sighs. Ella frowns and tucks some of her long, blonde hair behind her ear.  
“Eva, I've known you for years, I know when you're lying.” She says sternly. Evangeline looks away. “What has he done? Has he hit you again?” Her tone is kinder. Evangeline begins to cry and Ella hugs her tightly. Ella was the one to introduce Jim and Evangeline. She's an assassin, and was quite close to James when they were in their twenties. She helped a lot with the The Fall and the plans, so knows where they're hiding to and often comes to visit.  
“I hate it here, El.” She cries. Ella pulls away.  
“Show me.” She commands, gesturing to her glasses. Reluctantly, Evangeline removes her shades. She gasps. Her eye is dark and bruised, aswell as her cheek. “You need to get out of here, get away from him.” She bites her lip. “I can help you.”  
“No, no, I can't. He'd kill me.” She shakes her head.  
“Oh, Eva.” She sighs and hugs her again. “I'm so sorry for leading you into this.”  
“Its not your fault. Its mine.” She sobs. “I should be more brave. I should fight back.”  
“Oh, Eva, Eva, Eva.” She sighs again. “I promise I’ll help you.”

September

“I love you, baby.” He whispers in her ear. She smiles.  
“Last night was wonderful.”  
“Tell me about it.” He chuckles, gently massaging her scalp. She stretches out on top of him. Evangeline looks to him with large eyes. He taps her nose and she giggles. “I wouldn't mind round two...” He hints.  
“Battle on.” She narrows her eyes and kisses him, hard.

December

Evangeline sits in the bathtub, hugging her knees. She doesn't cry, she can't. She has no tears left. They're all gone. She has cried them all away.  
The blade sits only a foot away from her. She sighs. The offer is tempting, extremely tempting. She needs the release, she knows she does. Not a suicide attempt, just blood, lots of blood, and lots of pain, that’s what she needs. Pain.  
“Fuck it,” she sighs, grabs the knife, rolls up her jeans and cuts deeply into her flesh. “Ah.” She throws the knife back onto the floor and watches the pool of red gathering around her. She begins to laugh. She doesn't know why, she just does. She laughs and laughs but it sounds like a sob. She becomes hysterical. She swishes her hands through the blood and examines her hands carefully, smiling. She lies back in the bath, the blood puddled around her. The plug is in the hole so it has no where to go, and she is soon sat in an inch of her own blood. It sticks to her clothes, her hair. She closes her eyes.  
James is out of the house, he's working. So Evangeline can be as loud as she wants.  
She screams, loudly. She cries and cries about everything. She laughs until she can't breathe and eventually passes out.

“Oh, fuck!” Evangeline wakes up, hours later, and pulls the plug out, draining the blood away. She leans across, grunting, and grabs a white towel. She holds it to her wound, though almost all of the blood has stopped by now. She tucks it in on its self and carefully takes her top off. She throws it on the floor. Most of the blood has drained away now. She takes the towel off as well as her trousers and underwear. She switches the shower on and washes away all the stains.  
Her cut stings terribly but she ignores it. She's dizzy from blood loss but manages not to faint. She washes her hair and gets out. She gets the first aid kit and patches up her wound. She goes downstairs and gets a black bin bag. When she's in the bathroom again, she puts her dirty clothes in the bag. She cleans the knife properly and puts it back.  
She is fully aware that he searches the bedroom for things that she might be hiding, so she mixes her bin bag of clothes with the general waste and takes it out to the main bin. She quickly goes back upstairs and checks for any sign of blood. Its all clear. She's done it plenty of times, so she's practically an expert at hiding the evidence. What has become of my once-perfect life?

September

“Zac, hi!” James smiles broadly at his brother. Zac is three years younger than Jim, and good-looking aswell. He has dark hair, short, and an angled face. He's always in the gym, so he has an excellent figure.  
“Where's you're beautiful wife, Jimmy-boy?” Zac asks. Him and Evangeline have a close relationship. Closer than Jim would like.  
“Upstairs. I'll go get her.” He turns to leave, but grabs his arm before he does. “Look, Zac,” he sighs. “I don't want you eyeing her up like usual. She's mine, understand?” He tilts his head. Zac frowns.  
“She's your wife, Jim. I'm happy being single, honestly. I would never do something like that.” He defends himself. James' face is blank for a moment, before smiling.  
“I know, I know. I'm sorry. I'll get her.”

“Alright?” Jim puts his hands on Evangeline's hips. She smiles and turns around so she's in his arms. “You look beautiful.” He whispers in her ear.  
“Mm, thank you.” She murmurs.  
“Too beautiful... I don't want him, or anyone else, looking at you.” He tuts. She frowns.  
“I am yours and only yours. You know that.” She purrs. He scoffs.  
“Then why do you dress like a whore whenever my brother comes over?” He snaps. Evangeline frowns.  
“Jim! Don't talk to me like that!” She scolds.  
Why is he saying this?  
“Don't you fucking talk back to me! Get downstairs!” He whispers harshly, and pushes her through the bedroom door. She gasps.  
“James!” She holds the bar by the stairs. “Why are you being like this?”  
“Because I can. Now get the fuck down those stairs.” He commands. She jumps, but can see the anger in his eyes, so does as he wishes. He stays very close behind her for the short walk to where Zac is in the living room. She is scared but fakes a smile. Zac rushes up to her and embraces her.  
“Hey, Eva.” He beams once he's pulled away. But the look on Evangeline's face is one of pure fear. He catches on. He knows his brother well. He knows this is to do with him, so pretends, for her sake, that she's alright, and mentally notes to speak to her privately later.  
“Hey, Zac.” She coughs. “How're you doing?” She asks falsely. James stands behind her, he can't see her face. She has tears in her eyes.  
“I'm good, yeah. You look well. I guess going into hiding agrees with you?” He laughs.  
“Yeah, I guess. Will you excuse me for a moment?” She forces the words out and, before he has time to reply, she's gone to the bathroom. She tries desperately to calm herself down.  
He's just having a bad day. Just a bad day. He still loves me. He still loves me, of course he does. Nothing has changed.  
She wipes her eyes quickly and collects herself. She looks normal again and makes her way out of the bathroom and back to her snappy husband and happy brother-in-law.  
“Hi,” She smiles. James glares at her. “Couldn't hold it in.” She says truthfully.  
“That's okay.” Zac grins. “Coffee?”

They spend the next few hours catching up in a coffee bar. Evangeline holds in her emotions while James keeps a protective arm around her the whole time, not once letting go. Eventually, he needs to go to the toilet.  
“Be good.” He whispers so only she can hear and leaves. Once he's out of earshot, Zac's smile disappears completely.  
“What the fuck has he done?” He says quietly, seriously.  
“Nothing, he just... snapped.” She sighs. “He said I always dress like a whore for you.”  
“He told me not to eye you up.” He explains.  
“You don't.” She frowns.  
“I know.” he lowers his tone. “He can be dangerous. Very dangerous. Please don't aggravate him. Please.” He begs. “I don't want you to be hurt.”  
“Neither do I. Thanks for caring.” She says quickly as James re-enters the room and frowns at them both.

December

“Come to bed.” James says, not in a kind way, in a demanding way. Evangeline looks at him from the doorway of the bathroom. She tilts her head. He still looks like the man she fell in love with, but he isn't. The man that she loves is gone. For good. Forever. “Evangeline... I said come to bed.” He sounds more commanding. She bites her lip with anxiety but does as she's told. She always does these days.  
She lays down next to him. He looks at her.  
“Why are you wearing pyjama bottoms?” He asks. Bile rises in her throat.  
“My periods due. I don't want to risk bleeding on the bed.” she quickly lies. He narrows his eyes.  
“Okay. Would you mind me taking them off?” He asks seductively. Her eyes widen.  
He'll see my scar.  
“Um... not tonight.” She smiles in a way that he used to love. He frowns at her. “I don't feel like it tonight.” She adds quickly. “I feel a bit sick. Tomorrow? In the morning?” She suggests.  
“No. I want it now, Evangeline. And I always get what I want, do I not?” he asks. She swallows.  
“Yes, you do.” She agrees to keep him happy. “Then...” He slips his hand under her shirt. She flinches.  
Even his touch is different.  
“Let me,” he moves his hand south. “Take them off.” He says through gritted teeth. She closes her eyes and rolls onto her back.  
Just fucking let him. If I don't he'll hurt me. That's my reality.  
His hand gently tugs at her bottoms and pulls them halfway down. She inhales sharply with fear, hoping that he'll think its with lust and anticipation. He does and presses his lips against hers, commanding her to play along. This time, she does, and kisses him back, praying that it will distract him from her deformed leg.  
“Mm,” She murmurs, playing the game. Pretending to enjoy what is, for her, basically torture. He grins against her mouth. He pulls her trousers down further, not glancing at her legs, thankfully. She kisses him deeper and tries desperately not to think of all the times he's forced this on her, or all the times he's hurt her for refusing.  
“I want to kiss every bit of you.” he purrs in her ear. She gasps again and forces a smile. He moves his lips downward, past her neck, breasts, belly, thighs and finally to her calves. She braces herself. He stops in his tracks.  
“What the fuck have you done?” He says quietly. She looks at him. He doesn't look angry, he looks upset, disappointed.  
“I needed to.” She whispers. He sighs and traces the long, thick, blood-red line with his index finger. She winces.  
“Was it because of me?” He asks, his expression unreadable.  
“I just needed the release.” Evangeline says, her voice barely a whisper. She doesn't want to annoy him, or say the wrong thing. She's scared.  
“I've been terrible to you, haven't I?” He sounds upset. “I'm sorry, baby.” He moves back up her body so he's face to face with her. “I'm so sorry. You mean everything to me.” he whispers. Her face crumples. “I've hurt you, haven't I?” She simply nods, incapable of words. “Baby, I'm sorry.” He sounds sincere. “Please say something.”  
“I wish... I wish I could believe you.” Her voice is low, almost threatening, and nowhere near how she intended it to come out. “I want to believe you so badly. Truly, I do.”  
“Why don't you?”  
“Because I’ve heard it all before. Remember? You then choked me and raped me on the bathroom floor the week after. Do you remember that?” She snaps. He gasps and all his previously hidden anger comes back.  
“Yes, funnily enough, I do. I do remember and I do believe that you enjoyed it.” He growls. She shakes her head.  
“No, I did not. I told you to stop. I screamed, I cried. You fucking attacked me.” She whispers quietly, all of her courage now gone. She feels weak and knows that if he wants to hurt her, he will, and she won't be able to stop him at all.  
“I didn't. I gave you what you deserved. I told you before about crying.” His voice is soft with an undertone of threat. “Now, are we gonna fuck or not?” He asks, his voice lighter. She wants to scream 'no!' and run away, but instead, she just closes her eyes. She's too scared to do anything else. He gently rubs her inner thigh. “Tell me you want this.” He demands.  
“I want this.” She forces herself to say it, to think it, to believe it. “I want this.”

Evangeline Moriarty – Diary Entry – December 5th

I will believe it. I will. He loves me. I know he does. He doesn't mean to hurt me. He just can't help it. Its in his nature. He's naturally angry. He would never hurt me. Sorry, never seriously hurt me. He wouldn't and I believe that, with all my heart. My husband would never seriously hurt me. Never.

September

Evangeline smiles at George, who mirrors her.  
“So things are good?” He asks. She nods.  
“We have had three perfect weeks. He's being so nice.” She beams. “Its bliss.”  
“No more cutting?” He questions her seriously.  
“Nope. None.” She says proudly. “Everything is perfect.”

“Hey, baby girl. Oh, you're so beautiful.” He sighs, embracing his wife passionately.  
“No, you're beautiful.” She smiles. He chuckles. “I love you.”  
“I love you.” He says quickly. She frowns.  
“Are you alright?” She asks. He sighs.  
“Yeah, I guess. I just have to stand by idly and watch Sherlock Holmes destroy everything I’ve ever worked for.” He complains. “And I can't do a mother fucking thing!” He suddenly shouts loudly. She jumps and decides to hug him harder.  
“What can I do?” She asks with sincerity. He shakes his head.  
“You never do anything, so why start now?” He snaps. She gasps.  
“Jim... don't say that.” She breathes.  
“Don't you tell me what to do!” He shouts and pushes her away from him. She falls backwards into the wall with a loud bang and lands on the floor.  
“Ah!” She rubs the back of her head, looking him in the eye. He seems shocked with himself. His eyes are wide. He kneels down beside her.  
“Oh, my God. I am... so sorry. I didn't mean to!” He whispers and touches her arm. She flinches away from him.  
“Get off of me!” She cries. He lets go immediately.  
“Oh, sweetie, I am so, so sorry.” He sounds earnest. She softens.  
“Its okay.” She whispers and he embraces her. She doesn't hold grudges easily.   
“Oh, baby, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I never will again.”

December  
“Evangeline? Evangeline, where are you?” James calls from the front door. She usual waits for him. Dinner is usual cooking. “Evangeline! Get the fuck down here!” He yells even louder, more angry. There is no reply. “Where the fuck are you? This isn't funny! When I find you, you're fucking in for it!” He shouts, his temper rising quickly, flooding through his veins like a drug. In a way it is, he's addicted.  
He looks around quickly. The phone holder is flashing. He presses the play button.  
“James...” Its Evangeline. He stops dead in his tracks and stares at the phone. “James, I’m leaving you. I've had... had enough. I'm done. This isn't working. I know it, you know it. I am done. You have hurt me too much. I can't cope any more.” She sobs once. He clutches the wall to support himself.  
No... no!  
“Don't come look – looking for me,” She cries, her voice breaking. “Because you won't find me. I am starting a new life, away from you, away from all of this. Its hurting both of us.” She pauses and James collapses to the floor in shock. “James Moriarty, I love you. I always will love you. That's why I’ve got to go. Only the people you care about can truly hurt you. And you've hurt me worse than anyone else ever could have. I love you.” She breathes deeply, still weeping. "I love you. Goodbye."

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, guys, thanks for reading! I would really appreciate your feedback, good or bad. I'll publish part 2 and 3 if i have enough demand. Thanks, Violet Lupine xox


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